One Year Later

 Wow! A year ago today, mum had dropped me off at Stansted airport, and I was waiting for my flight to Brisbane. I was soooo excited. I never ever thought I’d have the guts to go to the other side of the world on my own. But I did it! What an adventure it was. 7 weeks turned into 6 months. 

I have posted about my travelling tips being solo and why I did it, so I don’t want to repeat myself. Instead, I want to talk about what I gained from it, where I am now, and why it has shaped the person I am today. 

What did I gain from travelling solo? 

I gained a whole lot of confidence. (I mean if doing a bungee jump isn’t brave enough...) I think that is the biggest thing that I got out of this. Before I left, I let my life be lead by others, I didn’t necessarily do what was right for me. I did what was right by other people because that was their opinion of what I should do. I also got into a bad obsession with how I looked. I wanted to have the ‘perfect body’. I over exercised with my running and the gym, I didn’t eat enough and I calorie counted to the T! It’s funny, they say you want to impress the ones that love you the least, well in my case, it rings true for sure. Those people are no longer in my life, which is sad, but their loss. 

Confidence is such a big part of being YOU. I went to Australia and New Zealand a sheep, one that followed the trend and followed what others did or wanted. Now I am back home, sitting in my garden with a cuppa, thinking, I’m not that sheep anymore, I am a lion. I am proud of who I am, what I look like, and no one pushes me around. 

Where am I now? 

As I said above, I am a lion. Embracing who I am. Loving being in control of myself. I have an amazing circle of friends who all get me, who feel the same as me and will always be there for me as I will for them. I also have an amazing family who I love dearly. Of course I have my boyfriend Kurt too, who has taught me a lot. How to be brave, mostly! Lastly, my job; my colleagues. The company I work for and the people u work with are second to none, truly out of this world supportive. All of these people, make up my life. 

That’s not to say sometimes I have days where my bad is feeling a bit heavy. It’s like a full dustbin that is spinning around all these thoughts, good and bad. I know how to handle these thoughts better now. A friend of mine recently went through some serious mental health issues and turned to me for help. I gave us much advice as I could, but it is you that, ultimately, helps you. Helps the heavy dustbin. It took me a long LONG time to learn this. But I’m about there 😊

Why has this trip shaped who I am today?

I was on my own, having to look after me, myself and I. No one else. My loved ones have always said I care more about others and put others before myself too much. I learned that you have to look after number one. I’ll never be selfish, others will always come before me, it’s a weakness of mine. But what I did learn when I was away was, I could do what the hell I wanted and it was all for me. The only person it affected was ME. Okay, my decision making skills still aren’t good... But my outlook on life is very different now. I appreciate what I’ve got. I appreciate who I am. The saying ‘you find yourself when you go travelling’ is true. It happened to me. I discovered who I am. I can stand up for myself, I can be myself around everyone not just a select few. But most of all, I can be kind... to myself. 

So many people have said; ‘You’re different. You’re still you but you are different from last year... in a good way’. My reply? ‘I feel good, I love myself... finally, and I am in an amazing place’. 

On Reflection...

You can love yourself. You can be you with everyone you know. It is okay to let go of people who aren’t ‘good’ for you in your life. It is okay to have dustbin head days where you don’t feel 100% everyday. It is ALWAYS okay to be YOU. 

P.S. I want to say a MASSIVE thank you to people who put me up and helped me in Australia and New Zealand. The list is rather long... but I will forever be grateful to you all, and can’t wait to see you soon, and hope you are all staying safe and well in these strange times. Meg xx