Change
As I am sure so many of you know, I left my home, Cambridgeshire, UK in the middle of September to go travelling. Australia and New Zealand had always been top of my list to visit, and so I decided enough was enough I had to go. I guess you could say the reason I went was to find myself. I had lost who I was, I had been swallowed up by people who took advantage of me, thought they were better than me and so I was weak.
I had become obsessed with exercising and eating, convinced if I did that I’d be a more liked person and be ‘one of those’. Because of certain people I was friends with I did, in some ways, have a rod up my arse. I was the typical English girl, a snob, a ‘judgy dog’.
As soon as I got to Australia and New Zealand, I immediately felt myself change. I was carefree, I was looking after myself, I spoke to my family but my friends only a little. I met so many people from so many walks of life and I didn’t once find myself judging them, or a snob towards them. I was the real me, I was Meg. I was friendly. I was who I was meant to be.
I knew I had to come home eventually, but things got hard to come home with my father disowning me and well, meeting the man of my dreams. He treats me like a princess, and like I’m the most important thing to him in the world. And he’s the most important to me in my life now alongside my family. Although we had only been together a few months we made the choice to come back to Cambridgeshire together. We didn’t know if the UK was where we would spend the rest of our lives but we wanted to make a good go of it.
Not long after we returned I realised the people I had left. I had changed but they had not. I guess you could say I am too nice and I once again became pushed around by those people. People who thought they’re better than me. And I believe it. I am fighting to stay who I am, and that is a kind and giving person, who doesn’t let people walk all over her. A loving friend and family member who will do anything to make others happy as well as herself. These last few weeks back home have been testing for me, to the point I now feel very lost and doubting myself. However I can’t let the bigger people win. They can’t be the winners forever, and therefore I need to stay that strong person I became down under, otherwise I will always be a door mat.
I guess I am writing this to let you all know, I have a wonderful friend and family group, but sometimes the bad ones get let in. People go through this all the time and I wanted to let others of you out there you are not alone. No one is.
I had become obsessed with exercising and eating, convinced if I did that I’d be a more liked person and be ‘one of those’. Because of certain people I was friends with I did, in some ways, have a rod up my arse. I was the typical English girl, a snob, a ‘judgy dog’.
As soon as I got to Australia and New Zealand, I immediately felt myself change. I was carefree, I was looking after myself, I spoke to my family but my friends only a little. I met so many people from so many walks of life and I didn’t once find myself judging them, or a snob towards them. I was the real me, I was Meg. I was friendly. I was who I was meant to be.
I knew I had to come home eventually, but things got hard to come home with my father disowning me and well, meeting the man of my dreams. He treats me like a princess, and like I’m the most important thing to him in the world. And he’s the most important to me in my life now alongside my family. Although we had only been together a few months we made the choice to come back to Cambridgeshire together. We didn’t know if the UK was where we would spend the rest of our lives but we wanted to make a good go of it.
Not long after we returned I realised the people I had left. I had changed but they had not. I guess you could say I am too nice and I once again became pushed around by those people. People who thought they’re better than me. And I believe it. I am fighting to stay who I am, and that is a kind and giving person, who doesn’t let people walk all over her. A loving friend and family member who will do anything to make others happy as well as herself. These last few weeks back home have been testing for me, to the point I now feel very lost and doubting myself. However I can’t let the bigger people win. They can’t be the winners forever, and therefore I need to stay that strong person I became down under, otherwise I will always be a door mat.
I guess I am writing this to let you all know, I have a wonderful friend and family group, but sometimes the bad ones get let in. People go through this all the time and I wanted to let others of you out there you are not alone. No one is.
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